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Sex after childbirth

Sex after childbirth


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Returning to the sexual relationship

During pregnancy we take all precautions available, regarding to sex positions and safe ways to have sex. But usually, after delivery, sexual desire decreases and often we do not know how to bring up sexual energy back and regain the intimate life. Here we explain what happens after birth and give you some tips to regain your intimate life with your partner.


"Doctor, when can we have sex again?"

First consultation is commonly done by new mothers is; at what point can we start having sex. This varies with each new mother; the right time is when you and your partner feel like it, as the recovery period after giving birth varies from woman to woman, some couples take from 3 months to a year.


The recommended approach is to abstain from sex for at least 6 weeks after delivery because that is the average time that organs take to recover. There are several factors that will interfere with the recovery process and the ideal time to start having sex, these are:

  • If you have had an episiotomy (That's an incision in the perineum, which is necessary to allow expand the opening through which the baby will be born.).

  • If you had a tear in the walls of the vagina during childbirth.


  • The time laps in witch you are in quarantine (the period immediately following childbirth, and extending for the time for the woman's body to return to normal or pre-gestational, this includes the female reproductive tract and the hormones).


  • If the delivery was normal or cesarean section, because on average, women who gave birth by caesarean section start having sexual intercourse more quickly.


  • Vaginal dryness. It is very common after childbirth that vaginal lubrication diminishes, so if you have sexual intercourse you might feel pain.


  • Appetite and sexual desire decrease caused by hormones (estrogen deficiency) and also because of fatigue for the 24 hours care of the baby.

If you have sex before the recommended time you can feel more pain than pleasure during intercourse and orgasm, this due to lack of lubrication as the extension of the reproductive system. Also as a tissue healing, contact with the semen affects the incidence of infection.
It is also important to note that some mothers feel disinterested and tired both physically and emotionally. The change in body image after pregnancy can make you feel shy and embarrassed.

The important thing is to reestablish the sexual bond with your partner.



Physical cares to speed up the recovery process.

Physically, you should perform Kegel exercises to strengthen pelvic floor muscles also perform exercises to restore the tone of your body and try to rest when your baby is napping.

With regard to nutrition you should drink plenty of fluids, especially water.

On an emotional level, ideally you should always share your feelings with your partner and also should take turns in household chores and the care of the new baby.

Be honest with your partner if you do not feel like having sex, the greater the communication will help you and your partner to stay informed about the whole process and what your body is experiencing, it will make more easier, for you and your partner, to be able to recover the mutual intimate life and to be more united.



Helpful Hints

Remember that a good sexual intercourse is not necessary when you reach the penetration, you can resort to other techniques such as caresses, massages or oral sex.

Start step by step, at the beginning during the first sexual intercourse you can experience some pain, so going slowly will help you relax and enjoy.

As for the breasts, they may be sore from breastfeeding and that could preclude manual stimulation, in which case it is recommended not to touch them because if the nipple is sunk, it can bleed and even undermine breastfeeding. A tip that can take into account is trying to feed your baby before having sex for both you and your partner can enjoy an extra moment of intimacy.

Be creative, keep the flame of love and passion lit with small details, such as a shower together after the baby sleep, prepare a romantic dinner, watch a movie together, send an email, a text message or a call for flirting or sexual content or simply to tell your partner that you love him/her, and be aware of each other.


Here are key tips to resume your private life as a couple:
Remember, intimacy is not just sex, goes further; it is a bond that is created as a couple. An intimate relationship is composed of honesty and good communication. The fact is that as a couple you feel more sensitive and open, it is essential to maintain a good relationship and continue with the intimacy and thus eventually regain sexual desires and resume sexual activity.


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